Saturday, August 21, 2010


This was written on August 21st, 2010

I hate people more than I can ever explain
Thoughts fill my brain
Just driving me past insanity
Till these eyes fill with pain
Turning into tears
Over all of the years
That I've been abused
Pushed back into a hole and used
For others to feel better
About themselves
Pushing me into shelves
And lockers
Ripping off my dockers
And giving me the blues
So that I just couldn't take it anymore
And I had to score
At least once
So I stooped so low
Got ready to go
And did the nasty with a dirty little hoe
Which I'll forever regret
Getting her wet
Putting myself inside her mind
I still scrub myself with chloride
Trying to clean
Without being mean
About how nasty that shit was
I would have rather slept with my cous
Cause even incest is better
Than that slut who was wetter
Than Niagra falls
And even the North Central stalls
Were cleaner than her
Still I must agree
With my own mind
And start leaving behind
Everything that has happened
Though this rap can't end
With just a few little words
Instead my body fills with herds
Of angry voices
About all of the choices
I've made
Beating inside of me
Trying to get out and be freed
Upon the rest of the world
All my anger unfurled
Upon her
So now I just curse
For putting her onto a shelf
Of trophies
Where I thought she belonged
Instead she longed
For someone better
Better than me
So all others can now see
The weakness deep down
That causes a frown
Man I feel like such a clown
As I look down
Upon myself
Cause these past weeks
Have been weak
At least in comparison to the strength
That I once drank
Pushing it down with my thumb
Inside of my throat
And even the votes
Of my inner selves
Could not resist
The imaginative kiss
That she gave to me
Promising to free
My inner man
So that someday I'd stand
Alongside someone else
Because even these sea shells
Left to me by my mother
Who knew more of my brothers
Than I ever imagined
And all that we sinned
Combines together
Becomes worse than the weather
That pushes through the warm
Insides of my heart
Forcing a start
Of freezing rage
That funnels onto this page
Because even now
After you've left
I know that someday
We will all find the words to say
That we have been hurt
So I mean to be kurt
As you have caused pain
On so many levels
To humanity as a whole
Now we all have a hole
And many have more than just one
Because the sun
It burns us
Worse than vampires
Who do what they can to sire
A next generation
So that Rock Point Station
Will burn into our memory
For others to hear and see
What pain is caused
Just by living
Living and giving
To others
As sisters and brothers
Of the one man who gave for our sins
Now he hides in the clouds
Shouting out loud
Inside of our minds
Pushing out signs
For us to read
Trying to create a seed
Of love
Stars above
Why can't you just tell us what you know
Teach us how to sow
This kindness inside of ourselves
So that we all stop sitting on shelves
Of uncertainty
Why do you have to hide so that we cannot see
Instead you put us through
This great amount of misery
"It's all a test."
"It's for the best."
Because God knows better
Than even the rich man wearing a sweater
Cause Bill Gates
Can't open the gates
To heaven
No matter how much money he has
His ass will turn to grass
Just like the rest of us
Now to be honest, I find that living without trust
Is my best bet
For survival
Because gullible is not written on the ceiling
Of my mind
And I will leave all behind
Who try to take advantage of me
To push all others to see
My weakness
Because to me, happiness is a strength
And I don't have anyone to thank
For having it by my side
Except for myself
Who learned it from the imaginary Elf
Inside of my soul
Which has more age than from toll
That other people created
Kicked back and lived sated
As they watched me suffer and squirm
Eating the worm
That my cousin convinced was candy
Before laughing at me
For falling for his tricks
That he used for his own kicks
To bring about his happiness
He created a sadness
Inside of this persona standing here today
So I have only one thing to say
To you
Who do everything you can to put me through
I hope that life has been swell
Because in death
Everyone will remember only your bad breath

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