Apologize

This was written on August 20th, 2010

There seems to be this trend
That brings about the end
Of my relationships
The end of all trips
They all blow me off
As I scoff
Oh man
The excuses
They make me roll
As they take their toll
On my mind
Just pushing from behind
My sub-conscious

Reminding me of the past
When girls left me trashed
Battered and broken
Without a single token
Of appreciation
For the station
That they left me at
Beaten by a bat
Even the music
Of my blood
Is left rotten
Forgotten
Long ago

And all that I know
Is that you have broken
Me
Left all others to see
That I am weak
That my future is bleak
What you've ruined
Isn't worth the time of day
And whatever you say
I cannot forgive
This broken shiv
In my back
Cause even as you attack
You do not understand
That this hand
Holding my pen
Is not afraid of the sin
Used to route my rage
Onto the page
Regardless
You have taken my bliss
Relentless
In your conquest
Put even the best
In the ground
The sound
Not reaching my ears
Or ridding the fears
Despite my friends
My back only bends
Conquered by you
As you put me through
More pain than even God
As humanity tortures
Each other
Even if I find another
The knife will stay
No matter how much I pray
For forgiveness

Still this endless
Pain
Will rain
Down upon me
For all others to see
Like fire
It will never tire
Of leaving me broken
All of my oaken
Defenses
Left senseless
My bones soak
In my own blood
No longer a stud
Who others respect
Instead I sit still
Hoping that what will
Come tomorrow
Will be better than this sorrow
Better than another day
Of waiting for you to say
That you are sorry
For what you have done