The Son We Could Have Had

This was written on August 21st, 2010

I must admit
That giving you shit
Has put me at the end of my wit
Now that you've lit
My Cigarette
I'll find a way to let
You inside of my mind
Instead of leaving behind
Whatever it is that we've had
Whether it is good or bad
Despite the fact that I'm so sad
I will put you ahead of me
Letting you in to see
What's left of my mind
A watermelon rind
Resting alone
In this oldest zone
Of my mind
Everything else is behind
Closed doors
Where all the wars
Forced me to hide
What matters most
So I refuse to boast
About everything that I am
Because even in this slam
About what you've done
I still think about the son
We could have had
It's definitely bad
That I still have these thoughts
As I'm attacked by bats
Of the night
They fill with fright
Others who don't have lovers
Just like me
Can't you see that you've left
This gigantic cleft
Inside my heart
Where a seed did start
To grow
It had learned to flow
Through my streams
As you were filling my dreams
Now I fly here alone
Without a landing zone
To return to whatever existed
Before you insisted
That we have a relationship
When all you wanted was a trip
So that you could watch me fall
Without ever caring at all
So I sit here now
Hoping that somehow
I can forget what you've done
And return to the depths of my mind that son
That we could have had
So that it won't be so bad
When he dies inside my mind
Left behind
For nobody else to see
Cause that's how it should be